Huwebes, Abril 16, 2020

Noble Names


I first heard their names as Guillier, Vic, and Emmanuel.
September last year, these names dominated the news media in an instant. The news flash on a blurry television screen told a sad, horrible story: how they were mercilessly killed, with six others, by soldiers in a clash in Carranglan, Nueva Ecija.
Guillier, Vic, and Emmanuel—these names are those by which they were known from birth, names now known for those who genuinely served the landless farmers in the land called the ‘rice bowl of the Philippines,’ Nueva Ecija. In the revolution, they baptized themselves with new names; they were red fighters, members of New People’s Army.
Just like other brave youth of this generation, Guillier, Vic, and Emmanuel chose to tread the road less traveled. They joined the national democratic movement of the Filipino people and later on embraced the cause of national liberation to the fullest. 
They were young. And they could have chosen a different path, one that would leave them unscathed or bring them to a high pedestal in the status quo. There was an easy future ahead if they only chose the easy path.
But their minds were not as juvenile as their age. They showed what maturity means to them: selflessness and resolve for the cause of building a better, just society.
The brevity of their names – bluntly labeled by many as rebels, extremists, or terrorists – screams more about the vastness of their good deeds and heroism. They are, rightfully, the young martyrs of Central Luzon.

I first heard his name as a University of the Philippines (UP) Diliman Extension Program in Pampanga Cum Laude.
I remember it was one fine evening of November 2012 when I met him during the cultural night for Hacienda Luisita massacre commemoration.
Sitting around the corner was a chubby man wearing eyeglasses, a faded t-shirt and shabby shorts and an almost-dilapidated pairs of slippers, which I would come to know was his normal get up every day. You cannot really tell that he was a UP student or one to have received Latin honors by a first impression.
By then, I was just a novice school paper writer covering the event. I heard him speak, but I was not really impressed by him. I thought he sounded monotonous and aloof. But after a few minutes, he smiled and approached me kindly.
After a couple of days, he shared beautiful stories about his life and how he loved Psychology. Weeks had passed and he gave me educational discussions. Then came another year, and by then, we already shared the same principles and ideologies.
I vividly remember his face wearing a bright smile. That was a time when he won in a Pizza Eating contest. We laughed our hearts out and we keenly cheered on him that night. He really loved food and food made him very happy.
We also used to tease him often. He knows that the clothes he wore stank, and he could not fathom the reason until we taught him how to wash clothes properly.
“Kuya Guilli,” as everyone called him, was a very spirited youth and community organizer in the busy metropolises of Pampanga.
In the urban poor communities, families adored him dearly. He was an emblem of humility and exemplified simplicity.
One day, in a house where he stayed, tuyo (dried fish) was the only viand. The family had no money. Guilli was also penniless. But he had fried chicken in his bag and he gave it to the family’s children instead of eating it all by himself.
Sometimes, he seems not to know what shyness is. In the wet market, while he was walking, his slippers suddenly broke. Instead of buying one, he just said it's okay for him to walk barefoot. And he really did.
Guilli also went to peasant communities. And I think his stint as a peasant organizer furthered his growth as an activist. He became more serious and determined, until it made him leave the comforts of his life in the city and went to the mountains of Sierra Madre.
In the city, he was called Guilli, known as a Psychology graduate, student-leader, frat man, chess player, a loving boyfriend, and a choir member in a Catholic church.
In the countryside, his name was Ka Christian, a red fighter, a poet, and regarded by the peasants as “Principal” because he manages the literacy and numeracy classes for the uneducated farmers.
And simply, to his loving parents, he was Guiller Martin S. Cadano, their only son, a generous child who always gave a penny whenever he sees beggars. He was a young martyr who offered his life for the revolution.
I first met him in a community in Angeles City. He was holding a cold bottle of alcohol, on his other hand, was a cigarette.
He actually looked like a gangster in a Filipino movie. He was the so-called leader in their place, known in the community who led the youth united by any kinds of nicotine and alcohol.
We became classmates in educational discussions conducted in their community. Eventually, I realized he was very kind and thoughtful. He would respond to your questions with a smile on his face, but not showing his teeth as he was missing one front teeth then.
He used to live and do hard work in the many places of Pampanga and Manila. Jonas was once a fish vendor, a cook, and a construction worker. He had two little kids to support.
Jonas used to be one of the ‘thugs’ in the community. One could never imagine how he changed so much after he discovered the revolution in the country.
From being a bane to the family, everybody witnessed, especially his sisters, how he turned to be a hero of the oppressed.
In the urban poor communities, one mother told me a story of a day when they had nothing when one of their kids got sick. The kid badly needed to take some medicine. When Jonas found out, he immediately went to the jeepney terminals where he organized drivers under Piston. He requested for “patak-patak” (small contributions) and he went back to the family with a plastic bag full of medicine and food.
He was a father and a brother for many. That was why he was overwhelmingly loved by almost everyone who knew him. He actually seemed like a celebrity, as others really looked up to him. In every community where he used to stay, people would always recall numerous moments with him, telling vivid stories of how they really treasured someone who taught them how to fight for their rights.
I also remembered Jonas as one of the best people to crack jokes with award-winning punch lines. He was a stress reliever amidst insurmountable pressures. And he has the longest thread of patience.
It was a very long time when I last saw him. There were only his handwritten letters that he regularly sent us that filled us with his presence, signed by Ka Lean, a medic in the people’s army, his moniker.
He once told me that he dreamt of a better society for his children. And sure enough, he contributed hugely to make his dreams come true.
When I heard his name, he was in front of a crowd, his face revealed shyness. Robin was about to deliver a speech. And he did very well.
He was really a good-looking lad. But more than appearance, he was earnest, humble, a very young Kapampangan artist who speaks well of bravery and altruism.
I saw him in various activities. But he never approached me first and despite giving speeches, he was not very outspoken. But later, I found out that he told others that he knew me and that he admired me for being “workaholic” during one of our gatherings.
One day, he sent us a handwritten letter. I will never forget that one piece of paper where he warmly narrated his experience as a red fighter. I read the honesty of every word written. But too bad, I would no longer be able to send a reply.
At a very young age, Emmanuel used to be the father and brother to his little siblings. He was a “sakada” (skilled laborer) in the outskirts of Tarlac, toiling so hard to make his family’s ends meet.
He grew up in Brgy. Sta. Rita, Capas, Tarlac, where 48 years ago the New People’s Army was established. In his home province, he grew up witnessing how the toiling masses were killed, harassed, and incarcerated only because they struggle for their rights.
Recently, I saw videos of him directing a cultural performance. He was a very talented man. He wrote revolutionary songs and he sang very well. And the whole world should see how good and great he was, just like how the peasants saw them.
Robin. He was the namesake of a young superhero. And in the real world, he was.
The revolution to which the youth offered their lives is a revolution built from the wealthy theory and practice drawn by the blood of the heroes before them.
Instead of recalling the pictures of their cadavers, let me tell you the stories of how good they lived. There was so much more to tell the world about Guillier, Vic, and Emmanuel.
Guillier, Vic, and Emmanuel – selfless youth who offered their time, strength, and intellect to serve the landless and oppressed. In the countryside, their names are forever etched in the mountains as the young martyrs: Ka Christian, Ka Jonas/Lean, and Ka Robin/Abe.
They did not choose to adorn their names with tiles or engrave them upon some desk, door or plaque, that would speak volumes of their academic or professional stature. Instead, they chose to change the world (and their world) and be enshrined upon the hearts of those who continue to believe and work for genuine social change.
I first heard their names as Guillier, Vic, and Emmanuel, names I will forever honor.

(Originally published in: https://manilatoday.net/noble-names/)

Paalam, Tang Greg!

Maligalig ang nilisan mong mundo, Tatang Greg.
May sakit na kumakalat sa buong bansa. At sa gitna ng pandemya, mas sumasahol din ang sakit ng lipunan – ang tunggalian ng mga uri, ang malawak na agwat sa pagitan ng naghahari at anakpawis – at naghihingalo na, nasa rurok, kailangan na nga nating magpa-anak ng panibagong sistemang panlipunan.
Hindi na namin alam kung ano ang magiging bukas. Ang tiyak ko ngayon, lumilinaw sa mga mamamayan ang kawastuhan kung bakit kailangan baguhin ang sistema – na ang kailangan natin lalo na sa mga panahon ngayon ay isang gobyernong nagsusulong ng panlipunang hustisya, nagsisilbi dapat sa uring anakpawis, at hindi lamang gobyerno ng mayayaman at dayuhan.
Ito ang nilisan mong mundo, Tang Greg. Sistematikong pinapatay at namamatay ang mga masa. Mundong puno ng pagtatakip sa katotohanan at pagbubusal sa mga nagsasabi ng katotohanan. Ito ang mundong naiwan at iniiralan namin, at sana’y hindi na manahin pa ng susunod henerasyon.
Pumanaw ka ngayong araw sa gitna ng matinding pihit ng sitwasyon. At sa mga oras na ito, hindi pa natin tiyak kung biktima ka ba ng COVID-19. Nakakalungkot at hindi ka namin maaaring puntahan sa iyong burol. Nakakalungkot at ngayong araw mismo, ililibing ka na.
Pakatandaan mo sanang nakatatak ka sa pahina ng ating kasaysayan. Higit kalahati ng buhay mo ay nag-ambag ka sa pagpanday para sa isang mas maayos na bukas.
Pinakamataas na pagpupugay, Tang Greg. Habang buhay ka naming dadakilaan!




D.

Pinakamagandang tanawin,
ang makita kang naglalakad
sa pilapil, pawisang bumabagtas
patungo sa tataniman nating pitak,

ang makita kang nagbubunot
ng punla ng palay, kasama ng mga
kabataang magsasakang minulat mo -
kung paano lumaban,

ang mabilis ngunit maingat mong
pagtatanim, tantyado ang pagitan
ng bawat mga punla, mistulang
kung paano ka magmaniobra't kumilos -
kalkulado ang bawat pagsalakay,

ang katawan ay hapo, ngunit
payak pa rin ang nasisilayang ngiti,
ang putikang paa at kamay
ay babanlawan nalang sa irigasyon,
at tsaka ka ihahatid ng aking

mga titig, patungo doon sa kabilang kubol,
paniguradong kakamustahin mo
si tatay at makikipagkape sa kanya,
makikipagkulitan at kakargahin
ang kanyang makulit na babaeng apo.

Pinakamagandang tanawin,
na masaksihan ang 'yong
payak na pamumuhay,

ang buong-pusong pagyakap
sa piniling mapangahas na larangan,
dito sa lupaing pinalaya.


(Orihinal na ipinaskil sa FB: September 30, 2016)

Sa mga Pansamantala


Mga estranghero tayong
naligaw sa paghahanap,
sa ating mga sarili
at natagpuan ang isa’t isa,
sa gitna ng masalimuot
nating pagkawala.
Naluluma ang mga bagay,
ngunit hindi ang mga alaala,
ang damdamin – hindi ito
naluluma, o naglalaho.
Marahil, natututunan lang
ng puso ang magpatawad,
o mag-antay, o tumanggap
ng mga pagkabigo’t pagkatalo.
Ikatutuwa mo ba kung
hindi ako magpapatawa,
at sasabihin kong, siguro
mahal pa nga kita – pero
hindi na sapat-sapat na
pagmamahal?
Hindi na buo para muling
tumanggap, sa mga matagal nang
lumisan, at muling nagbabalik,
o lagi lang sigurong nariyan?
Mga estranghero tayong,
bagahe ang mga kalungkutan,
at binitbit, pinagaan, sinalo
ang isa’t isa, hanggang sa
mahanap muli ang daan
pabalik, sa tunay na iniibig.
May saglit na galak, sa
pansamantalang mga pagka-antala.
Sa mga pansamantala,
may walang hanggan,
kahit na panandalian. 

(Orihinal na na-publish sa Liwayway Magazine, April 29, 2019)

Pagpapaalam


Dahil mahal,
hinahatid akong muli,
ng lumbay ng 'yong
paboritong kanta,
doon sa partikular na senaryo
ng panandalian kong
pagkawala.
Nakatayo akong mag-isa
sa tabi ng kalsada,
mag-aabang sana ng bus,
pero inantay kita ng
5 minuto,
10 minuto pa,
30 minuto nalang talaga,
hanggang sa umabot
ang higit dalawang oras
na pagka-antala.
Bakit ba kasi may mga
umaalis, na walang ibang
pamamaalam,
kundi katahimikan. 

(Para kay M. Orihinal na ipinaskil sa FB: April 25, 2017)




Convenience Store

Magsasara na,
ang paborito nating
tambayan,
sa mga sandaling pagal
tayo sa maghapong
mga lakad.
Walang grandiyoso
sa convenient store na iyon.
Sadyang sapat lang,
ang upuang kahoy sa gilid,
ang dilaw na ilaw,
mga tanim na nagpapakalma
sa damdamin, tuwing
malalalim na ang usapan
sa bawat gabi.
Ayokong burahin
ang mga alaala ng bawat
pagbili doon, tanda mo pa ba
ang huli mong nilibre sa akin?
Strepsils at gamot.
dahil mayroon ako noong
sakit, na ubo at lagnat.
Pero pagkatapos mismo
ng gabing iyon,
alam mo bang
hindi pa rin ako
gumagaling?
May sakit pa rin.
(Para kay R. Orihinal na ipinaskil sa FB: May 26, 2019)

Lunes, Marso 26, 2018

Paghihintay

Sa halos lahat ng pagkakataon, tinuturuan ako ng mga kinalalagyan kong komplikadong sitwasyon para maghintay. Maghintay ng walang humpay. Maghintay habang nangangarap, o mas maiging sabihing habang ipinagdarasal ang mga walang katiyakan.

Kadalasan, sa mga paghihintay na ito, parang mga kaaway na bigla-biglang sumasalakay ang mga katotohanan na may dalang matalas at mapanganib na sakit sa damdamin. Madalas ko itong iniinda ng tahimik, walang sinumang nakakaalam sa lalim at lala ng mga sugat na panahon na lamang ang nagpapahilom.

Sa mga hindi inaasahang sitwasyon, mahuhulog ka sa kumunoy ng kawalang pag-asa, habang nasa entablado, habang nasa harapan ng maraming mga tao. Ano nga ba ang gagawin para maikalma ang sarili? Para hindi masilip ng ninuman ang kalungkutan at sakit na danas? Para tahimik na pumunta sa likod ng entablado matapos ang nakakapagod na pagtatanghal?

Buti nalang at hindi basta-basta umaapaw ang silid kung saan nakatago ang lahat ng mga hinanakit. Kaya pa itong kontrolin. Kaya pa itong itago. Hindi pa ito marahil mapupuno sa mga oras na kagaya nito.

Pero sigurado, sa oras ng pag-iisa, kapag wala nang entablado, mga tao, kapag wala nang ibang kasama kundi ang sarili, tsaka kusang bubuhos ang lahat ng mga mabibigat sa damdamin. At kapag dumating ang oras na yon, hayaang kasing lakas ng bagyo ang bugso ng damdamin. Hayaang kasing lakas ng pagputok ng bulkan ang hinanakit sa dibdib.

Bukas pagkagising, o sa katotohanan, ilang taon din ang lilipas, ang mga sugat ay kusang maghihilom kahit hindi gamutin. Ito ang sining ng lungkot at saya ng pagiging mag-isa. Walang ibang historyador, kundi ang sariling puso.